Wednesday, February 10, 2010

This Year's Valentine

Valentine's Day is just around the corner- Sunday!!! (Whew.. the year is flying by in a sleepless blur!) This year I have already received my Valentine's Day gift: I count it as a special blessing whenever I see Hero putting into practice the steps he's learned about in the “Every Man's” series.

One of the most visible practices that Hero now has is to “bounce” his eyes away from anything that might appear inappropriate. It took him a couple of weeks after he got home to not bounce his eyes away from me, even though I am now the only “stimulation” that he allows his eyes to feast on.

I cannot begin to explain how it makes me feel to not only know that he's taking the steps necessary to overcome in his struggle with pornography, but also to see him taking those steps. I can actually accept his compliments now; when he tells me he thinks I'm beautiful- I believe him.

Not only can I accept his compliments, but I also feel more confident and comfortable in who I am. I know that probably sounds crazy, but I've spent too many of the past years burdened by the feeling that I was in competition with an unreal expectation of perfection and there was no way for me to ever win.

That feeling of not measuring up to perfection fed into my natural tendency to give in to fear. That is all changing. I'm learning not only by Hero's living example of victory, but also by God's grace about how loved I am and only measuring myself by God's expectation of me-  willing obedience.  



2 comments:

Cheesemakin' Mamma February 11, 2010 at 8:23 AM  

Oh, how wonderful for you BOTH! I pray God will continue to help your husband keep "practicing" what he's learned. So glad his new behavior is effecting your self image in such a postive way. PTL! Hope your coming home transition has been good. I know it can be rough at times, but I hope overall it has been good for you guys.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife March 4, 2010 at 8:37 PM  

That is so awesome! I'm glad he is taking the right steps and succeeding! My hubby has to do the same thing sometimes.