Monday, October 18, 2010

Faith over Fear

It may sound odd, but homechooling is one of those areas of my life filled with fear. This may be why I'm Always on the lookout for “the best curriculum”. I research until I go crazy and then drool over expensive curricula we simply cannot aforrd- fearing that our lack of funding will ruin our children's future. I love reading other people's blogs about what they use, how, and when.

After much reflection and soul searching, I've realized that I do all of this from fear (or maybe even terror). ;-) Hero is the proncipal of our little homeschool, but the day-to-day teaching and training falls squarely on my shoulders. I truly enjoy teaching our children and having them home with me, but the weight of responsibility can sometimes be overwheling, to say the least.

The fear strikes hardest when I turn my focus from what I should be doing. It begins with looking to “just see” if there's a way I can improve what I'm doing to teach the kids. Before long, I'm not just “seeing” what others are doing differently, I'm comparing what my children know and can do with their children. This comparison mentality is what leads me into the trap of fear.

Oh, I know that each family is different and that what works for one child doesn't necessarily work for another- with a completely different personality. It's just that my heart doesn't always know what my brain does. This is where my faith must conquer my fear.

I can feel overwhelmed, and lacking in wisdom, finances, patience, resources, etc, but I know that God has called me to homeschool our children. I am fully confident that He knows how I feel; He also knows what circumstances really are, and He can see the bigger picture. Knowing all this, He still blessed our family with the four children we have and called us to homeschool.

Trusting God, His love, and His plan isn't always easy, but it helps me to get out of that trap of fear; sometimes it helps me to avoid the trap altogether. “Faith is the victory!”

2 comments:

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife October 18, 2010 at 1:23 PM  

I used to be so fearful when it came to my teaching. I am so much better than I used to be. Although, sometimes knowing one of my children is so far behind freaks me out and I push too hard. I have to reevalute and tell myself that I don't need expensive school supplies, I need God to give me wisdom and He has so many times. What a sweet, honest post! Thank you!

Cheesemakin' Mamma October 19, 2010 at 3:50 PM  

I just had this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday. I'm going to forward this blog post to her. Thank you for writing this!